A friend, Paul, gave us the book "What to do when it's your turn" by Seth Godin. This excerpt is a great reminder for me daily...life keeps going and to make progress we MUST FAIL. And...things don't have to be ok all the time. Inevitably, they will not.
LOVE this snack! A piece of grainy bread (9 grain or wheat will do), homemade chocolate cashew butter (2:1:1 ratio of Cashew butter: local honey: unsweetened good quality cocoa). Sprinkle a little salt on top and good to go! (Yes, coffee and a Quest bar made their way in here too...Moved on from the Quest bars to Caffeine and Kilo and trying some new ones...more to come!)
I recently took myself off the Diary sharing option of My Fitness Pal. I've been working with a coach from Working Against Gravity, #TeamWag, and just need the accountability to her and me...that's it. I want to be helpful to friends, members, clients, but I also need to keep some things private for sanity sake!
Last night I had a puzzle to solve of a little too much fat and not so much carbs left... it took some thinking, but I ended up with some apples sauteed in ghee with 1/2 cup whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkled on top! Delicious!
One more creation....Hashbrowns (Alexa are the most flavorful but Trader Joe's are good too and a steal!), 1 oz avocado, 1 egg white and 1 over easy egg. Yum.
I decided to try sharing 'day in the life' and thoughts/ encounters I experience versus attempting to cram profound thoughts into 1 monthly (or so) post...One of the things I appreciate in Social Media is when I relate to some of my mentors. When I see that they too struggle and share my battles, that life is not simply a breeze on their side. It helps to know I'm not just failing miserably...Here was Wednesday/ Thursday snippets...
Woke up and battled about whether or not to go to yoga. Pretty much a back and forth since Tuesday night but promised myself to just get there for the heat and the mindset if nothing else. THAT is arguably the true benefit for me beyond the stretches. Staring myself in the face, contemplating only that moment in which I'm existing with no phone and no pressure. And so I went. And it was well worth it.
I would not be telling the full truth if I didn't add that my focus strayed multiple times to the world of comparison - women that are smaller, thinner, leaner, more flexible, more feminine, more elegant, prettier, had better hair, appeared more spiritual...the list goes on. It's amazing what goes through the mind at any given time. Instead of being critical of myself for having those thoughts I acknowledged them, accepted them and re-shifted my focus back to the task at hand.
This week is my second week working with Team Wag and my coach Ivette. I am working on patience and lasting results vs a quick fix and I have been trusting the process since I'm at a higher calorie count than I had previously been on.
Made a killer pasta dish that I figured out all the macros for and enjoyed using my brain for the math. I understand it's time consuming, but it's definitely worth a few extra steps to have some say so in whether you are moving toward or away from your goals and commitments. I had not yet been doing any timing of food and decided I would start incorporating that into my efforts so I spent a few minutes planning Thursday.
Thursday was going to be a full morning but there's something so satisfying about being prepared and planning ahead...and so I did.
Hit the ground running! Today was the day I had planned to fulfill 35% of my carbohydrates prior to my workout...that was about 70 grams worth of carbs. Note to self, don't choose a food that is low density for a morning meal that necessitates that much food...I chose hashbrowns...so it was A LOT of food. in hindsight oatmeal would have been better! But, I did it, ate it all and got to the gym for a workout before coaching.
I've been ensuring time for proper warm-ups and the reverse hyper as I am just getting back to working out since the back injury. I am so grateful to be able to move again and want to be smart not to jeopardize that!
The workout was 4 rounds total, and in the rest post round 4 I decided, 'why not', and I went for a 5th round. Sometimes there's something to be gained by silencing the battle in your mind and just saying "F*ck it", you're going to do this because you are able.
Thursday night my amazing husband drew me a bath as I was feeling like I might be coming down with his cold he had been battling all week and I had some time to myself to relax with bubbles and candlelight.
I quickly became aware of the strange anxious feeling I got as I had nothing to read, to look at, to do...Just lay there and think....
So I thought.
Laying there looking at my legs poking up out of the water and my belly protruding beyond the bubbles I initially had negative thoughts about myself - "Why isn't my stomach more flat? Do my legs look too big? Too small?" But, I managed to switch that to a more positive process. I started instead reminiscing about all that my body has been through - 2 pregnancies, 4 years of competing in CF regionals, various phases of fitness to include but not limited to Ashtanga 5x a week, teaching 20 fitness classes a week, training for triathlons, marathons... and the list goes on. It's been through trauma, injury, anorexia, and flabbiness. It's been there through it all.
Thinking in that way made me smile at how amazing it really is. And I made a small vow to have that awareness of gratitude towards my body vs shame or disappointment. Having high expectations is
par for the course, but remembering a little praise is an important piece to include in the journey.
Last night ended with watching an episode of Homeland with Bill after getting the kids to bed. And I thought as I laid there with him about all the nights we slept alone, texted each other goodnight and promised to never take for granted the time together when it was a reality. And so I didn't.
Closing my eyes knowing I did my best and that tomorrow would be filled with opportunities to feed the good and positive thoughts was a great end to the week.