Monday, November 30, 2015

Truth.


These guys are simply amazing...talk about having passion for what you do and the pursuit of excellence. Photos of our finished product to come....


Organized the pantry....Cathartic!



I love this photo and these bowl ideas. It's so simple to take some real ingredients and put it together for a fresh alternative to your normal meals. Runny egg and avocado is a perfect combo.

Markus in full skateboard action

And the Livy Loo


Tonight's post is about the truth. The truth in struggle and the spirit of putting it 'out there' versus  perpetuating the social media myths of perfection that seem to be the norm these days.

When I started the Macro experiment months ago, everything fell into place. Foods I had said no to for years were suddenly 'ok' and the guilt I associated with small cheats dissipated. I felt leaner and more comfortable in my skin than I had in as long as I could remember. Food was not an enemy, nutrition was not a struggle. Everything felt easy.

Initially when I fell face first into my injury, the macros seemed to help me stay grounded. Despite not being able to workout, much less move, I was able to stay sane by way of 'sticking to the numbers'. It was my saving grace.

Until now.

Suddenly I am struggling more than I could have imagined. Despite being able to be somewhat active and have some movement in my life again, I just can't seem to get back to that place of simplicity/ ease and non-striving. What started as an experiment with no expectations has now become a struggle where I am looking for a specific outcome and forcing the process as well as the result. Not only am I forcing the process but I am judging it all the way. There is little acceptance and absolutely no 'letting go'. I am death gripping my expectations.
 
There has been a great deal of anxiety for me the past two weeks about food and the lack of my routine. All of a sudden everything has caught up to me and the inability to workout freely, to experience the endorphine rush, to feel empowered, to be in control...it has been stripped away and now it has become very real. I have officially relinquished control.

In writing this I realize that it might sound very similar to other posts I have written. I am laughing a little to myself thinking about that notion. That everything is constant, that no one is ever completely 'cured' of their tendencies, that we all fall short and have our imperfections.

Perhaps I would like to think that with one step back I take two forward and that I am making my way 'ahead'. There is, of course, the chance that I am actually going in circles...and certainly the last two weeks has felt like just that.

I suppose in the end the reality is that we all best have something more than the photos we put up for the world to see, the weight on the scale, the number of veins or abs we have visible or the numbers in our performances.

For me, I am sure I will get back to a place where the food is not a battle and I don't hold myself hostage for eating an extra piece of bread or a few chocolate chips beyond the app's allotment. But I guess for the moment I will accept myself, imperfections and all.

For all of us there is a spectrum and moments in time...life is an ebb and flow. We have good days and bad days. We have weeks where our performance seems like it is on a never ending streak and we have days where we simply feel like we will never reach our 'best' again. No one is immune to these highs and lows. In the end, there is one way to digest them and make them more palatable, and that is acceptance:

"Remember, now is the only time you have for anything. You have to accept yourself as you are before you can really change. You choosing to do so becomes an act of self-compassion and intelligence".

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