Wednesday, November 4, 2015


Perfect Scandinavian meal. Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, homemade grain bread and organic sour cream.

First try at my aunt's Norwegian bread - Lots of whole grains, oats and seeds. Topped with some delicious ghee butter and a smear of local honey. Nothing quite like homemade bread...and something satisfying about food made entirely from scratch.

Clearly I've taken to baking as an outlet for my energy...this is a homemade apple crisp with pie crust made from scratch and local apples and the best quality butter to make the crumble on top. 

In the woods with the kids and Bill on Sunday - LOVE the family hike time and the chats/ sharing that happen out in nature.

Silly faces.

2+ weeks since my last workout and I'm still sane. Sort of.

I've been making good progress and I've accepted that this is not like 'the other times' when I was able to resume workouts because I feel better. I am doing better than expected with missing the feeling of a workout and the accelerated heart rate and endorphin rush. However, I am definitely struggling with how my body feels right now.

Of course I would be lying to say that I struggle with how my body is responding aesthetically to the lack of exercise and training. The lean state of my body previously was a reflection of hard work, effort and commitment. Now, it's started to wane and my abs don't reflect strength but rather softness and lack of stimulus. The notable "CrossFit" hamstring is less defined and flat, no longer present now as a result of the absence of squatting, sprinting and lifting. 

I am fighting hard to stay positive and hold my macro numbers despite a temptation to just throw in the towel because 'what's the point'. It's a strange notion that comes with injury that if you can't workout you might as well give up on everything. Clearly holding on to good nutrition would be paramount, but the emotional strain can cause some damage in the food arena. I will give myself credit for continuing to keep this area in line and be honest with myself (and the app!) when I have chosen to not care and eat in excess.

The biggest challenge, however, isn't the aesthetics or the missing of the's truly the physiological affect not working out has on the body and spirit. I feel low on energy, my systems aren't as regular as they typically were, and my mood is cranky. I am grateful for this realization - now when I DO return to workouts I will appreciate that piece much more and how amazing the human body is. It is eye opening to experience how crucial movement is to our existence.

The lessons I am learning....I have been writing on this blog for some time now about 'perfection'. In many ways I feel that my back has been a true face to face challenge with giving up on the fight for perfection. It's stopping me in that quest. It's impossible and unnecessary. 

My hope is for this blog to be a place where I can be honest and shatter some of the perceptions we all carry about others. I look at other women's photos on Instagram and FB and they seem so 'perfect'. Perfect and happy. Beaming. They have it all together, whether that be their hair, style, mothering skills, workouts, PR's, jobs, and the list goes on. But here's the deal...they don't. No one does.

We all struggle. We are all faced with adversity and we are all faced with our own personal monsters at some point. That isn't meant to give us relief in the fact that others suffer or to take comfort in others' imperfections, but it's meant to allow us to stop measuring and competing. The truth is that we are shadowboxing. So, take off the gloves, put them away, and smile knowing you will never be perfect but you can still be great.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for another on point honest and inspiring post. It was exactly what I needed this week. I've been under extreme stress at work and I found myself fighting each day to not use it as an excuse to eat and drink what I want. I failed this weekend but started again on Monday and by Wednesday I was ready to break and I saw your post and even though I wasn't on point I made sure to log in what I ate and remain accountable. It is amazing how logging in means so much more than measuring your calories. It is a freedom and a strength. So thank you again for reminding us about these important realizations.