Thursday, October 29, 2015

My support in the road to recovery

My new drink...after months of craving something other than my "4 long shot Americano with half a TB of Heavy Cream", I found it today: "Flat white with an extra shot and 2 pumps of Sugar Free Cinnamon Dolce" - perfect!

My walk at Natirar today. Was absolutely beautiful, walking has been great for me this past week physically, but more so emotionally!

My first homemade Pumpkin Pie! Made the crust from scratch and topped with my homemade whipped cream...and yes, I macro'd it.

This happened. 3 donuts from Montclair Bread Company. (What isn't captured in this picture is the extra donut hole I also ate in addition to the donuts - that was a separate entry). I've been hesitating on straying to poorer food choices, but was just dying for a good donut and figured I might as well go all the way!

The past week has been eye opening to say the least. I went from a life where working out was at the center and one of the top priorities. As I have shared previously in this blog, working out (CF, running, yoga, cycling etc.) has been a huge outlet for me in more ways than simply 'exercise'. Stress relief, general health, therapy, validation, a way to maintain acceptable body comp...the list goes on

However, as of last week, it was as if someone pulled the rug out from underneath me. All of that was gone. At first I truly could not accept it. I was advised that swimming could be something I could attempt. Of course I immediately experimented and ended up in severe crippling pain for the subsequent 48 hours. It was very apparent that I needed to STOP dead in my tracks and reevaluate a number of things. 

The reality is that I couldn't stop on my own. In fact, I couldn't and can't do any of this on my own. For months, years, I have been of the mindset 'I can do this and can do it alone'. That has caught up to me and my back was the tipping point to force me to accept support. 

What is amazing about support is that it is not always what we 'want'. Bill has been my rock this week in supporting me for what is best for me, not necessarily what I want or want to hear. He has reminded me of the positive, the opportunity for this to be a re-calibration time, and encouraged me to be smart and use all of the resources at my disposal. 

While much of this has been 'tough love', a great deal of it has been just plain caring. (This includes sharing in the donut throwdown with me on a rainy Wednesday with a warm cup of coffee.) He also trusts my instincts, thought process and reasoning. He respects my choices while being the voice of reason simultaneously.

This recovery will be long but I will be sure to note every positive opportunity and benefit that has come from this experience. And there are so many of them...Remember to take the help, look at your support, know that no matter who you are, you can't do it alone.

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