Tuesday, July 14, 2015

I got mad.

Breakfast this am: 1 piece of wheat toast dry + egg white omelette with goat cheese, asparagus, spinach and tomatoes. Made a detour into the donut shop while we were waiting for our table - my 2 bites of sample donuts satisfied my desire for a treat. Felt good leaving breakfast!

I love this quote - we all do so much 'comparing' as it's human nature...however, the beauty of all of us is that we are each unique - imperfections and all.

Markus is a bottomless pit. He had an inside out boston cream donut this am prior to ordering this meal: scrambled eggs, cheese, hash browns and bacon with a side of toast. I had to edit his initial order which included chocolate chip pancakes...I am curious what his macro's would look like...!

The butter tub. Nuff said.

My text exchange mid breakdown yesterday....

Yesterday, I got mad. My dilemma of macro-ing while vacation escalated to it's high point somewhere around the afternoon when I was having trouble 'fitting' it all in. Breakfast and lunch were the usual - quest bar + coffee w/ cream then for lunch measured out turkey deli meat and 7 braided twist pretzels. We then proceeded to bring mixer and rum down to the beach to enjoy our drink of choice the "Painkiller" while swimming and hanging. After careful measuring and calculating the mix I added in the drink to my diary and went about the rest of the day. 

The problem arose when at about 3pm I was STARVING. Now what....? I knew I wanted to enjoy another cocktail and had hoped to squeeze a treat (donut) in at some point in the afternoon/ evening. However, there weren't enough numbers to support it. I got pissed.

"Why am I doing this?"
"Who measures food and restricts themselves to these numbers on vacation?"
"I don't have enough calories to ENJOY MY VACATION" 
and last but not least...
" I hate Jason Ackerman".

So of course the next course of action was to text Jason. I needed someone to let me off the hook, to say it was ok and my world wouldn't implode should I decide to go over on vacation. And... he did. 

The funny thing is that once I saw that, I ended up staying inside my numbers (0 carbs/ -3 fat/ 0 protein) for the day. Overall I enjoyed a few bites of everyone else's donuts for dessert (and recorded it) and had room for one more tequila cocktail, a glass of wine and a few pretzels after dinner to snack on. What I realized was that I didn't "need" to eat to eat. Of course I wanted to eat a sundae and wanted to drink a few more cocktails with zero 'guilt' or thought. But don't we all?

It's so obvious and I have said it myself on this blog that the Flexible part doesn't mean you can simply eat whatever you want. So, while on vacation you may be making less quality choices than normal, there is still a balance and a left and right limit. Today I have a better perspective on realizing that I don't need to take full advantage of every 'cheat' and 'treat' every day. If today I choose to enjoy a few more drinks then I can't likely ALSO have the sundae. If I want to save up for that ice cream sundae, I might need to be a little more stingy with the rest of the food throughout the day. 

And ultimately, I'm the one choosing to do this and wanting results. No one else can tell me to 'eat more', 'don't worry about it', 'take a day off'...I know the 'rules' and I signed up for it. And I will be the one who is pumped that I enjoyed some treats on vacation while being able to return home in relatively the same state. Even if part of that state is simply mental. 

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