Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Why I care

Such a perfect post from BluePrint for Athletes. More about the BFA coming soon....We are going to be making bloodwork for athletes available in conjunction with the next round of G60 (9/12). Get some concrete data and health markers to go along with your aesthetic and performance progress.

And...this is why we track food...This was the fat that remained from a total of 9lbs of pork shoulder...yup. If you are not aware of the quantities of what you are eating, it can be a real wake up.

I caved and sent this pic to Baby Jesus aka Jason Ackerman today (ignore the bizarre message to the Soldiers on the mirror...on base!) I have been a tough and critical client questioning everything, so I finally threw him a bone to report that I feel great and lean.

I decided today to share some more of my history with food. Before that, let me preface it by saying that caring about people's food and nutrition and success isn't something you can fake. Regardless of whether you are being paid for your time/ and charging folks to hold them more accountable, or if you are providing some free support, you have to truly care.

Additionally, you can't MAKE people care. If you care more about someones progress with food, or you won't get anywhere coaching them. Likewise, if a Coach truly doesn't understand a deep desire to change lives, it will become very apparent. You can't fake it. The integrity of truly caring and being invested in others is something transparent. It's authentic, real and palpable.

For the sake of caring, I felt it was good to share some of my story and part of why I feel driven to experiment and continue the quest for 'balance' when it comes to food.

To make a long story abbreviated, I will start in the middle with the fact that around the age of 19 I fell into a long relationship with an eating disorder. I still have food journals from that time and can recall what a typical day looked like: 1 cup of Cheerios w/ skim milk in the am. 1 non fat Chai latte. Grapes or carrots. I was hovering around 500 calories per day and part of my daily ritual was a 3 mile run. Regardless of rain, shine, snow, had to happen.

As it typically goes, I was not one disorder only, I was primarily anorexic but would also have occasional binging and purging episodes if I ate beyond the allotted food for the day. Although there were many attempts to break out of this life, they were not successful. I would wander the supermarket aisles in a fog with an empty cart and finally leave without purchasing anything.

At some point I finally surrendered and decided that I couldn't live like this anymore - a prisoner to myself. Every social event and feeling of 'normalcy' was impossible. It was misery. I started seeing a nutritionist who was more of my council and therapist than anything. I truly owe my success in starting the path to recovery to this woman.

The good news is that 15 years later, I feel like I am a very healthy individual who has fought through the cunning and manipulative lure of an eating disorder. However, it is never truly gone and you are never 100% cured. Food is always something that is considered.

Embarking on the CrossFit journey has helped a tremendous amount in my desire to be healthy and strong and capable. 

So for me caring about this and understanding the issues people have surrounding food - regardless of whether it is as severe as over/ under eating or simply not feeling like you can ever be "normal" and enjoy life in balance - that caring is innate. 

I'm sure my story is not unique and many people have had a similar experience. The battle between the ears and the physical is one that we all share.

So, to tie it all together, it truly comes back to caring and acceptance. Amazingly, not about protein or carbohydrates or fat.


  1. K,
    Thanks for sharing this! I think most of us know more people with unhealthy relationships with food than good relationships... I'm also excited to learn more about the blood work you are thinking about. Tom and I have been talking about this for a bit.

  2. Yes I echo Rita's comment. I think it is very helpful knowing someone's journey, especially one so personal so thanks for sharing. Your blog continues to help me on my journey to finding peace with my relationship with food.

  3. Looking lean indeed! I'm looking forward to hopping on this plan and actually having something I don't abandon after 2 weeks. What I'm doing now is very haphazard and is sometimes Paleo, sometimes not, sometimes anything goes and need a real lifestyle change.