Sunday, June 14, 2015

Split pose.

Saving grace at movie theater - Dasani lime sparkling water - tastes so good! (it better for $5!)

Breakfast of champs, I could (and do) eat this every day!

My exchange with Jason Ackerman, Macro King, talking me off the ledge...
While I am still unsure if this blog is useful, interesting or at least a source of entertainment for those who ready it...I will continue to post my thoughts, struggles and experiences of life as they relate to nutrition and other areas of it we have in common.

As of yesterday morning I had been going 6 days strong on the Macros. Every night within 2 grams of protein, carbs and fat. No alcohol, no sweets, kept it clean and ate home for almost every meal. Then Saturday started looming. I truly enjoy going out to dinner and having a cocktail or a glass of wine (or both). I enjoy being social with friends and it's part of my life. Based on this I decided to follow through with this plan and enjoy a dinner out. 

Easier said than done. I've written about this topic before, but the notion of doing something perfectly or constantly challenging oneself can go too far. For me I had to face that yesterday - I felt a lot of guilt and like a failure for having a cocktail, a glass of wine and then a serving of some Trader Joe's yogurt covered pretzels when I got home. My dinner was great - a salad with Chicken - no issue there and said no to the bread. But knowing I wasn't within the guidelines and that my diary was tarnished made me crazy. 

I ended up getting on my bike today and doing some training (probably wise in prep for the 62 mile Gran Fondo I signed up to biking since last summer oops), and went out alone. I was thinking about this frustration and rut I was in. To only accept myself when I'm 'perfect' is absurd. And it's certainly not productive.

I thought a lot about being a leader and representative for this challenge. I would never want anyone else doing this to feel so 'challenged' that they got down on themselves to the degree I was due to an infraction. It was a good lesson. It also made me take some inventory and ask myself if it was overkill that EVERYTHING becomes a challenge in my life. It reminded me that although I am highly motivated and will challenge myself to do things even when I don't 'feel like it', sometimes it's ok to give in. To give myself a break, to be unconditional with myself.

In yoga often we do a split as a pose. Yes the most uncomfortable, frustrating and seemingly impossible thing to do. And I suck at them. I can't get my hips to face forward, I can't get my front leg to even straighten out, and can't get close to the floor. I end up looking like a very challenged individual propped up on as many blocks as I can get my hands on. Usually surrounded by ladies who are not only in a full split but are also doing a back bend and resting their head on their thigh...yeah. yoga, this pose is the pose of "Unconditional Love". Yes, of course. The hardest pose (for me especially, but definitely hard for many) is connected to this act. It's painful, it's hard, and it doesn't always come easily. But you have to stay in it. The reason I bring this up is that unconditional love isn't just about loving others in that way. Arguably what's harder is to love ourselves like this.

Give yourself some credit wherever you are at right now with this challenge. Maybe the farthest you are right now is reading this blog. That's great. But have some unconditional love for yourself - even if it's really really hard.

We have about 2 weeks left to see this little experiment through. The purpose of these 60 days was not to be short term and a 'diet', however, we did cap it at 60 because going 100% for that duration (even if it's only the 100% awareness that you are in the challenge) is a lot. When the time is up, take a little break. Adhere to as much as you would like that still feels supportive and positive for yourself. Many things you've adopted will be permanent and some may fall to the wayside. But, give yourself a break from the 'challenge'. Be flexible and work on that ease of unconditional love...and splits.


  1. Thanks K. I definitely needed this today. I had leftover cake from a party that I was going to give to my family but they were momentarily with me. After being out all weekend, I found myself without the right kind of foods in my place and I fell into old habits and my one bite turned into several and I paid the price physically and emotionally. Trying to snap out of it today and get back on track and it has been hard because I've been feeling so bad about my actions yesterday but reading this post helped put things in perspective. So thanks again and please keep sharing.

    1. Karen - thanks so much for jumping on and sharing. Those feelings are so normal!!! Just keep reminding yourself that it would be impossible to be "perfect" or never eat a morsel of something you don't deem 'worthy' for the rest of your life, right? It's totally healthy and you need that sometimes, not just physically but emotionally to learn to adjust, recover and allow yourself that. Back on track and you are still standing, yes?! Think of the overall big picture. Not where you are under a microscope. Big picture you are CRUSHING it.

    2. Thank you K! Appreciate that so much and so you know I was discussing your blog (specifically this post) with others on this journey and they too greatly appreciated and related to this post. So thanks again.