Monday, November 30, 2015


These guys are simply about having passion for what you do and the pursuit of excellence. Photos of our finished product to come....

Organized the pantry....Cathartic!

I love this photo and these bowl ideas. It's so simple to take some real ingredients and put it together for a fresh alternative to your normal meals. Runny egg and avocado is a perfect combo.

Markus in full skateboard action

And the Livy Loo

Tonight's post is about the truth. The truth in struggle and the spirit of putting it 'out there' versus  perpetuating the social media myths of perfection that seem to be the norm these days.

When I started the Macro experiment months ago, everything fell into place. Foods I had said no to for years were suddenly 'ok' and the guilt I associated with small cheats dissipated. I felt leaner and more comfortable in my skin than I had in as long as I could remember. Food was not an enemy, nutrition was not a struggle. Everything felt easy.

Initially when I fell face first into my injury, the macros seemed to help me stay grounded. Despite not being able to workout, much less move, I was able to stay sane by way of 'sticking to the numbers'. It was my saving grace.

Until now.

Suddenly I am struggling more than I could have imagined. Despite being able to be somewhat active and have some movement in my life again, I just can't seem to get back to that place of simplicity/ ease and non-striving. What started as an experiment with no expectations has now become a struggle where I am looking for a specific outcome and forcing the process as well as the result. Not only am I forcing the process but I am judging it all the way. There is little acceptance and absolutely no 'letting go'. I am death gripping my expectations.
There has been a great deal of anxiety for me the past two weeks about food and the lack of my routine. All of a sudden everything has caught up to me and the inability to workout freely, to experience the endorphine rush, to feel empowered, to be in has been stripped away and now it has become very real. I have officially relinquished control.

In writing this I realize that it might sound very similar to other posts I have written. I am laughing a little to myself thinking about that notion. That everything is constant, that no one is ever completely 'cured' of their tendencies, that we all fall short and have our imperfections.

Perhaps I would like to think that with one step back I take two forward and that I am making my way 'ahead'. There is, of course, the chance that I am actually going in circles...and certainly the last two weeks has felt like just that.

I suppose in the end the reality is that we all best have something more than the photos we put up for the world to see, the weight on the scale, the number of veins or abs we have visible or the numbers in our performances.

For me, I am sure I will get back to a place where the food is not a battle and I don't hold myself hostage for eating an extra piece of bread or a few chocolate chips beyond the app's allotment. But I guess for the moment I will accept myself, imperfections and all.

For all of us there is a spectrum and moments in is an ebb and flow. We have good days and bad days. We have weeks where our performance seems like it is on a never ending streak and we have days where we simply feel like we will never reach our 'best' again. No one is immune to these highs and lows. In the end, there is one way to digest them and make them more palatable, and that is acceptance:

"Remember, now is the only time you have for anything. You have to accept yourself as you are before you can really change. You choosing to do so becomes an act of self-compassion and intelligence".

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Personal Pledge.

I am committed to my beliefs.
I am committed to my values.
I will not waiver because my popularity is at stake.
I will do what is best for the program, the team, the greater good.
I will do what is right, not what is easy.
I will honor my commitments regardless of personal interference.
I will not stop the race because no one is cheering for me.
I will not put a pricetag on my soul, my values, my word.
I will hold a standard because quality matters.
I will surround myself with people who share high standards, expectations and the desire to be better.
I will be honest.
I will present the truth and not manipulate my image.
I will continue to inspire and change lives.
I will achieve.
I will not quit.
I will maintain humility at all times.
I will lead by example.
I will teach my children what it is to EARN, not just "be given" in this life.
I will respect mentors and peers who can teach me.
I will rest my head at night with no guilt, no regrets, and with peace in my heart.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015


Perfect Scandinavian meal. Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, homemade grain bread and organic sour cream.

First try at my aunt's Norwegian bread - Lots of whole grains, oats and seeds. Topped with some delicious ghee butter and a smear of local honey. Nothing quite like homemade bread...and something satisfying about food made entirely from scratch.

Clearly I've taken to baking as an outlet for my energy...this is a homemade apple crisp with pie crust made from scratch and local apples and the best quality butter to make the crumble on top. 

In the woods with the kids and Bill on Sunday - LOVE the family hike time and the chats/ sharing that happen out in nature.

Silly faces.

2+ weeks since my last workout and I'm still sane. Sort of.

I've been making good progress and I've accepted that this is not like 'the other times' when I was able to resume workouts because I feel better. I am doing better than expected with missing the feeling of a workout and the accelerated heart rate and endorphin rush. However, I am definitely struggling with how my body feels right now.

Of course I would be lying to say that I struggle with how my body is responding aesthetically to the lack of exercise and training. The lean state of my body previously was a reflection of hard work, effort and commitment. Now, it's started to wane and my abs don't reflect strength but rather softness and lack of stimulus. The notable "CrossFit" hamstring is less defined and flat, no longer present now as a result of the absence of squatting, sprinting and lifting. 

I am fighting hard to stay positive and hold my macro numbers despite a temptation to just throw in the towel because 'what's the point'. It's a strange notion that comes with injury that if you can't workout you might as well give up on everything. Clearly holding on to good nutrition would be paramount, but the emotional strain can cause some damage in the food arena. I will give myself credit for continuing to keep this area in line and be honest with myself (and the app!) when I have chosen to not care and eat in excess.

The biggest challenge, however, isn't the aesthetics or the missing of the's truly the physiological affect not working out has on the body and spirit. I feel low on energy, my systems aren't as regular as they typically were, and my mood is cranky. I am grateful for this realization - now when I DO return to workouts I will appreciate that piece much more and how amazing the human body is. It is eye opening to experience how crucial movement is to our existence.

The lessons I am learning....I have been writing on this blog for some time now about 'perfection'. In many ways I feel that my back has been a true face to face challenge with giving up on the fight for perfection. It's stopping me in that quest. It's impossible and unnecessary. 

My hope is for this blog to be a place where I can be honest and shatter some of the perceptions we all carry about others. I look at other women's photos on Instagram and FB and they seem so 'perfect'. Perfect and happy. Beaming. They have it all together, whether that be their hair, style, mothering skills, workouts, PR's, jobs, and the list goes on. But here's the deal...they don't. No one does.

We all struggle. We are all faced with adversity and we are all faced with our own personal monsters at some point. That isn't meant to give us relief in the fact that others suffer or to take comfort in others' imperfections, but it's meant to allow us to stop measuring and competing. The truth is that we are shadowboxing. So, take off the gloves, put them away, and smile knowing you will never be perfect but you can still be great.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

My support in the road to recovery

My new drink...after months of craving something other than my "4 long shot Americano with half a TB of Heavy Cream", I found it today: "Flat white with an extra shot and 2 pumps of Sugar Free Cinnamon Dolce" - perfect!

My walk at Natirar today. Was absolutely beautiful, walking has been great for me this past week physically, but more so emotionally!

My first homemade Pumpkin Pie! Made the crust from scratch and topped with my homemade whipped cream...and yes, I macro'd it.

This happened. 3 donuts from Montclair Bread Company. (What isn't captured in this picture is the extra donut hole I also ate in addition to the donuts - that was a separate entry). I've been hesitating on straying to poorer food choices, but was just dying for a good donut and figured I might as well go all the way!

The past week has been eye opening to say the least. I went from a life where working out was at the center and one of the top priorities. As I have shared previously in this blog, working out (CF, running, yoga, cycling etc.) has been a huge outlet for me in more ways than simply 'exercise'. Stress relief, general health, therapy, validation, a way to maintain acceptable body comp...the list goes on

However, as of last week, it was as if someone pulled the rug out from underneath me. All of that was gone. At first I truly could not accept it. I was advised that swimming could be something I could attempt. Of course I immediately experimented and ended up in severe crippling pain for the subsequent 48 hours. It was very apparent that I needed to STOP dead in my tracks and reevaluate a number of things. 

The reality is that I couldn't stop on my own. In fact, I couldn't and can't do any of this on my own. For months, years, I have been of the mindset 'I can do this and can do it alone'. That has caught up to me and my back was the tipping point to force me to accept support. 

What is amazing about support is that it is not always what we 'want'. Bill has been my rock this week in supporting me for what is best for me, not necessarily what I want or want to hear. He has reminded me of the positive, the opportunity for this to be a re-calibration time, and encouraged me to be smart and use all of the resources at my disposal. 

While much of this has been 'tough love', a great deal of it has been just plain caring. (This includes sharing in the donut throwdown with me on a rainy Wednesday with a warm cup of coffee.) He also trusts my instincts, thought process and reasoning. He respects my choices while being the voice of reason simultaneously.

This recovery will be long but I will be sure to note every positive opportunity and benefit that has come from this experience. And there are so many of them...Remember to take the help, look at your support, know that no matter who you are, you can't do it alone.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Herniated what?

Great little snack of Fage Greek yogurt, Cascadian farms organic cinnamon toast cereal and sprinkle of cinnamon

Shared this Jaime Oliver recipe with Tom and Rita. I love fall cooking and have been making it a priority to change things up and take the extra time to cook good stuff! Griggstown Farms sells great whole chickens at our Farmer's market on Sundays!

 Favorite delicacy lately: whole grain bakery fresh toast with avocado spread on top and a sprinkle of truffle salt...all topped with an egg or two cooked over easy 

The Piece-de-resistance - Donuts from Montclair Bread Company for a dessert treat...didn't stand a chance with the Level 1 staff..

I have been struggling with back issues for the past few weeks again. As per my previous post, I had suffered and endured quite a bit of back issues last fall when I traveled to Norway to work a Level 1 seminar and visit family. At the time I sought aggressive Chiropractic care and 'recovered'. However, as I've fully admitted, when the pain was gone, so was my upkeep of treatments and I concluded I didn't have the 'time' to make for them.

I finally got an MRI this week after battling the pain and on/off issues for the past 2 weeks to include not being able to stand, sit or walk. The verdict: herniated L5 and S1 discs. what?

The grand plan of Bill returning home, working out together, sharing 'normal' life etc. went up in flames pretty quickly. Aside from being mostly incapacitated and working out being a non consideration, my mood has been one of frustration and sadness. Working out is my outlet, my joy, my sport.

Today my perspective got a wake up. Last weekend a number of our coaches and members participated in a fundrasier at the CrossFit Annex affiliate down the road in Chatham. It was in support of a specific type of muscular dystrophy that affects young boys called Duchenne muscular dystrophy. Today Mickey, CrossFit Annex owner and head coach, came by to give us tshirts and personally thank us. As we were speaking, he was explaining the details of the disease and how there is no cure to date and likely due to the specifics of each case, there likely won't be one in the near future. These young boys are in constant pain, can't stand, and their muscles essentially stiffen to such a degree that they can no longer function. Their lives end at a tragic young age due to cardiac arrest.

Immediate perspective.

No complaints moving forward. I look forward to getting healthy and I appreciate that I have the ability to enjoy health and have the benefit of healing daily. I am grateful for the support of my husband, kids, family and the community at our gym to help me through.

So blessed.

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Thursday, October 8, 2015

Revival and the two-sided coin

Treated myself to a mini Maple Bacon donut from Montclair Bread a couple of weeks ago. (Full disclosure, didn't pull the trigger on drinking the chocolate milk, but it's Markus' favorite kind so I gave it to him)

We were given 4 bottles of Deer Antler from the people of Lurong Living at the Trainer Summit. I've been experimenting with taking this daily for recovery

A perfect dinner! A litle sauteed cod, string beans and roasted mini potatoes, dollop of sour cream. 

Plan ahead!!! I had a busy day leaving for Cali and new I wouldn't want to be stuck at airport starving, so I made sure to pack an open faced sandwich to go!

It's been a challenging week. I have been thinking about the blog and what to write, more so, how to tie in everything I wanted to write in a way that is impactful and makes sense to others and their lives. To make a long story short, I've dealt with some back issues for about a year now. I should rephrase that to say that about a year ago, my back issues became apparent and symptomatic. They have probably been underlying for quite some time but were exploited when I let up on my intense training, took a break and then resumed at 90% with very little ramp up. 

I had a tremendous amount of success with Dr Ryan in Randolph literally allowing me to resume full capacity and functionality pain free...until last week....Once again, same situation...I had backed off from heavy squatting and was increasing slowly in weight week to week until one week where I made too big of a jump. That put me in a vulnerable position and after 10 days of 'backing off' I jumped back in too quickly which was the final blow. 

Last Monday I was on my back on the floor in tears. I couldn't stand straight, bend, turn, sit...Cooking food for the kids or getting through a drop off at school was agonizing. But throughout this the hardest part for me wasn't really the pain, it was the anger and frustration. "Why did I do this to myself?!" "How am I back to this place?" and of course "When can I get back to normal?"

However, after a day or so of that frustration and the realization that it was NOT going to help anything, I started looking at how I could learn about myself and how I approach things from this experience. I truly believe that a great deal of the physical shut down was my body being at it's last resort to slow me down. The emotional stress and pace of my days does not allow for that and so I keep demanding more of myself each day...until my body finally said "NO!"

Many of our healthy endeavors are a two sided coin. For example: working out/ CrossFit. One side is the benefit and healthy approach to our bodies and the physical benefits we gain from increasing our work capacity across broad time and modal domains. Other benefits and positives are the mental gains and humility we should all be taking away with us that extend beyond our physical bodies - understanding what it is to persevere, to push ourselves, to not give up. The perspective of community and support, the judgement free approach to our peers. 

However, there is the other side of that coin as well...the side that takes things 'too far'. All of those positives taken to the extreme can be detrimental. Not allowing rest, not scaling appropriately, not focusing on form...not listening to an ache or a tweak. Pedal to the gas and no letting up regardless of what gets in the way. Things can be taken too far on the intangibles side too - putting everything into performance in workouts and measuring our lives against a time or the notion that we 'gave up' on ourselves by not meeting a goal. 

Where this has particular relevance is in our G60 Nutrition challenge that is approaching its' halfway mark. I know that all of us have our health as the highest priority as to our 'why' for approaching food differently in the challenge. It could also be a 'healthier' relationship with food and finding balance. It could be doing more cooking versus eating out and committing to the time it takes despite busy schedules. Regardless, the 'healthy' notion is paramount for us all. 

However, what about that darker side of the coin...? The obsessive behavior, be that the need to get 'zero's' in the macros daily, carrying a food scale around, being compulsive about seeing the bathroom scale numbers change...I am here to raise my hand high in the air on all of those.

I had to be honest and see that although it is natural to have both sides and almost necessary to find the balance between the two, I was pushing it too far to the negative. For me the specifics are using workouts as my crutch for stress relief. I 'need' to workout, to sweat, to get my heart rate up, to push. Taking a complete rest day is torture and feels unnatural and makes me anxious. My need isn't for crazy heavy or destructive workouts on the reg, but it's a 'checking the box' on having done SOMETHING. While it's wonderful to find something that is a stress relief, it can't be addictive or that much of a dependency. So for me, the back forced me to see that life needs to have some balance and I need other outlets beyond a workout to find that calm in my life.

Similarly on the food...and this one is a BIG work in progress...the Macros have been truly life changing in that I feel free from good food/ bad food and the notion of 'perfection'. However, I need to be eyes wide open in terms of that tendency to obsess over the scale going up or down a pound, going over with a 1/4 cup of rice one day or not being able to accurately measure a meal out. 

So, the revival has begun, the back is on the mend, and I am grateful to be walking, moving and feeling good. It has given me some perspective and time to reflect on what is truly 'healthy' and work to keep the coin the right side up.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

3 P's...

Recognize your progress. Acknowledge and own the changes you have made! Don't just be looking for more and better all the time

Measured this little meal out, 1.5 ounces of good prosciutto de parma in a pan to get crispy, 2 egg whites + 1 egg whisked, .5 ounces shredded parmesan, 3 oz roasted mini yukon potatoes, fresh herbs and then 1/2 TB of organic sour cream. Voila! Also made some homemade banana bread...with roasted/ caramelized bananas and browned butter....
To do big batch items like baked goods or chili etc. you must account for the TOTAL fat, carb and protein in the batch. Then divide for the serving size. I saved this after I ddi the math as K's banana bread so that I can keep in my app should I make it again. Definitely a little advanced if you are just starting Macros, but totally doable!

Back on Fish oil! Me AND the kids! Great for reducing inflammation and also counter acting the Omega 6's in so much of what we are eating. Meal two this week was some of the leftover potatoes and pan seared Turbot in a little Ghee butter with steamed green beans from the farmers market. Olivia and Markus LOVED it too!

As we are underway with the G60 challenge, I will make sure some of these blogs have tangible helpful tips for macros and health eating. However, I think that all of the facts and logistics in the world are useless without considering the philosophical side of ourselves and without digging into those a, with that...

Today I was thinking of 3 crucial areas to consider in our day to day:
Patience, personal responsibility and perspective (I actually sort of hate that they all start with P...sounds like some sort of motivational speaker's "The 3 P's!"). 

Today one of our athletes made a passing comment about coming to the workout eager to get her double unders. She is new to CrossFit, in her first month, and is already very close to getting this skill. I smiled and thought about how we all want to be masters of everything immediately. However, it is so often the process where the true value is. I find myself in this position with Yoga. Today I had to remind myself that it literally didn't matter if I did 1 round of full wheel (backbend) or none or all 3. Whether I put my hand on a block or the ground would have zero impact in my day and certainly whether I am ever going to be limber enough to put my face on the floor in front of me...

For this challenge and for whatever 'your' challenge is, be patient! Spend time mastering something and dealing with the moment you are in vs looking ahead to where you think you should be or expect to be. It also extends into the busy pace we all keep. I am absolutely guilty of this with the kids. There's always a sense of urgency. Working on slowing down and having patience with their process or anyone's for that matter is equally important. It is important to recognize that we are all on very different timelines and paces in our day to day, patience is required to accept that.

Personal Responsibility
This one deserves it's own blog...
The gist of this is simple: own your shit. Well, perhaps it's a 2-part 'gist'. Part 2 would be: Do the right thing. It is too easy to make excuses and blame others or 'things'/ situations in our lives for our issues. Of course, there are external factors that influence us and may have a negative impact. However, focusing on those versus ourselves will get us no where. 

The tie in with Part 2 is to do the right thing regardless of who is looking or of your 'desire'. It's so easy to veer from what we know is right - it's tempting as shit - and sometimes we do. But at that point we need to take personal responsibility for it, look ourselves in the eye and not make an excuse about it. How the hell will you be a better person if you never take on that process? 

If you want to avoid personal responsibility, it's very easy. And, you will even find people in your life who will encourage it. Surround yourself with the right people who might support your process to own your shit. They are the ones to value.

I was reminded yesterday of such a simple quote that has such tremendous power: "Your perception is your reality". It is one I could stand to say aloud every day. Two people go outside today, one says "It's so hot out here, that sun is beating down on us", while the other says "It's such a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky". So simple.

You can choose the reality of ease or struggle. And, as per the personal responsibility point, you can find people to support either perspective. But ultimately, what you say, do, think, is true because it is your reality. To bring it back to this challenge, you can say every day and at every meal how challenging it is, how difficult the app is to figure out, how few carbs/ fat/ protein you have, etc etc. Or you can just tell yourself it's easy, and fun, and will lead to achieving goals you never thought possible. 

We talk about CrossFit being life changing and special in what it does for us outside of the walls of the gym. Think about CrossFit and these areas of focus in across your whole life, not just a challenge or a workout. Break down the compartmentalization that we do in our day to day - be you across the board. 

Bring patience, personal responsibility and perspective to your work, your kids, your relationships, and yes, to your health. 

Monday, September 14, 2015

While you are waiting....

Guerrilla60 round two was a HUGE success - Here are the folks that made it out to the orientation. We have 70 participants signed up - let's have 70 finishing in November after 60 days!

LJ, Meag and me kicked off the Monday morning with the Endurance workout for the week. Was a chilly morning, sun was coming up as we were mid-way through the Workout - happy, healthy and grateful to be alive today!
Ms. Olivia chowing down on some quality Beef jerky from Starbucks. You CAN find healthy snacks everywhere #noexcuses

Apple and raspberry crisp time! Yummy fall flavors out of a Norwegian cooking magazine. Such an amazing culture of people who get quality of life. They also understand and embrace appropriate quantity and not 'overdoing' indulgences.

Prepare. You can't do these 60 days by winging it. Prepare!

"While you're waiting, someone else is doing it"

Every day of this challenge think about that. It is possible. You can do it. But with these 60 days you don't have to do it alone. Lean on this community, use the support, reach out and do it together.

We can all be successful. Enjoy the day and go do great things!

For those of you who want to 'friend' me on the App, I am under: karianne273 and email:

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Never Forget

Kids lunches: M has salad with grilled chicken, freeze dried banana chips, applesauce carrot squeezer, and popcorn. Olivia's is ham rolled up, freeze dried blueberries, tomatoes, applesauce, rice cake with peanut butter. 
Breakfasts: Markus (upside down!) has traditional farm fresh scrambled eggs and applegate farms bacon, chamomile tea with local honey and a little cream, and half a banana. Olivia gets a bowl of organic cheerio-like cereal, sausage from Griggstown farms, half a banana and homemade organic hot chocolate.
Dinner: (Olivia's plate show - she eats like a bird!) was home made 'fried' chicken, roasted mini potatoes and fresh tomatoes and basil from the garden. 

The photos of the kids food is documentation of my commitment to making time and prioritizing their health this school year - they are not completely random and there is a point in why I posted them. There are a lot of thoughts tonight that I have been stewing over for the past week. In short, I will get to the point in this just might be a longer route to arrive there.

Tomorrow is 9/11. This reality had come up a few times this week in passing with people in my life and I had clearly acknowledged the date. However, tonight, when Bill reminded me of it again, I had already 'forgotten'. We like to post an appropriate photo to the blog on days like this or any memorial days out of respect and honoring those lives lost. It took him reminding me tonight that we needed to put a 9/11 Never Forget photo up to 'remember' that it was tomorrow.

The irony in that - Never Forget. But we do. We forget a lot of things because we are busy. We are all so freaking busy. And don't forget how important we are - important and busy. This week that was exactly what I had been fighting - how busy I was and how overwhelmed I was with life and stress. I do consider myself an aware person who tries to work on continued self improvement, but it seemed like each day was groundhog day in that all I could do was survive the list of tasks and to-dos.

One of the areas that I have been working on to battle this feverish state has been the general notion of making time for life. I have been reminding myself of being in the moment. I am NOT too busy to make my kids a healthy breakfast and put on some calm music to start their day right. I am NOT too busy to go out in the garden and pull weeds, trim basil plants and pick our tomatoes and I am NOT in too much of a rush to let a person pull out in front of me on the way to work. The list can go on - to taking the time to help friends, to sitting in yoga and not being anxious about where to go next. 

The excuse of being busy is dead. It's overused. We make time for what is important to us. Period. As we embark on the nutrition challenge/ orientation etc. this is something that I know will come up. The excuse of the effort and the time. It's "too hard" or "I'm too busy". If you say so.

Ironically we are all finding the time to compare ourselves to everyone else and to discuss how hard things are and why we CAN'T do them. We also spend a fair amount of time working on achieving perfection and 'normalcy' versus just accepting who we are. As I was brushing Olivia, my 8-year old daughter's hair the other morning, she was telling me that there is no such thing as 'normal' or 'perfect'. She went on to say how it's impossible since we are all ourselves. What a profound and simple thought. 

I guess the message is to spend less time on the bullshit - the perfection, the comparison, the excuses, the busyness. Spend more time saying 'yes' and "I appreciate____", and "this is easy". Tomorrow is a reminder to Never Forget - never forget those whose lives where lost and the families for whom tomorrow is a day of hell reminding them of losing their father, mother, brother, son, daughter, husband, wife. Never forget the attack on this country and what the after affects and sacrifice has been from our military since. But also never forget that you are alive and you can choose to not be too busy to appreciate every day.

Make more time and less excuses. Never Forget.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Quitting CrossFit

Was introduced to "David's Tea" this weekend. A-mazing! Brought home a few flavors to enjoy.

Also introduced to a new complaints there!

Chicago on a beautiful Sunday this past weekend

The quest for the perfect Manhattan on a Sunday with there anything better?

Flight out to Chicago Thursday night - was in desperate need of food and this little bag of Southwest honey peanuts fit perfectly into the Macros #noexcuses

Olivia figured out how to work the timer on her phone and took this...talented girl - love it.

How do people quit CrossFit? 

It's strange to me to have the ability to walk away completely from something that is part of you. Running, Soulcycle, Yoga, CrossFit...they all have identity to them. Abandoning them and never looking back makes me wonder if someone was integrated and 'got it' in the first place.

Yoga is a great example of that for me. There was a time in my life where I practiced (Ashtanga series) 4x a week. Clearly that's not my everyday culture anymore, but Yoga still is. I still connect to my 1x a week practice and can't imagine abandoning it - it would be like cutting out part of my identity. CrossFit is arguably more of an identity because you become a community. Being anonymous doesn't exist within the walls of a CrossFit gym. People are there to support you as well as call you on your shit. To walk away from's a loss in so many ways.

My perspective is that each of us should have a handful of 'non-negotiables'. Things that are simply embedded in the fiber of who we are. Rattling off that list should not take much thought. If CrossFit or yoga etc is on that list and you have 'quit' it, perhaps it's something to revisit and get back to. Nutrition is no different. Eating healthy and having awareness of what goes into your body is a religion and an identity. Having respect for yourself and your physical state is a defining characteristic. This weekend we visited friends/ fellow affiliate owners in Chicago and although we dabbled in more drinks and a more lenient macro adherence, it was not a complete abandonment from self respect. However, the focus on health, discipline and self control is not something you can simply turn off. 

Of course as with all things, there is a caveat to this: balance. I am not suggesting you should be a walking calculator/ WOD log book and you never take off your nano's and knee sleeves. Nor do I think it's healthy to not have the ability to talk about any other topic beyond CrossFit or the Macros. But the culture and the integrity of those areas should and will bleed into how you approach non-related areas of your life. THAT is the beauty of CrossFit and why quitting it is just too close to simply quitting on yourself.

Have you quit on yourself? 

Today can be a day you can look back on in a year from now and say, "that was the day I came back".

Monday, August 24, 2015


Protein pancake the other night to meet my numbers...topped with some butter and whipped cream. Yum

Do I have to eat all of the food???? YES, #forthemacros

My girl, LJ's before, 30-day and 60-day. Hard work pays off!!!!!

Not the best photo...but...1 Trader Joe's 95% lean hamburger patty + 1 oz Trader Joe's light brie + 1 over easy egg + 1 pepperidge farm hamburger bun + 1 TB organic ketchup. One of the best meals yet. Managed to make and eat it in 10 min before Olivia's football practice. Yes, football practice.

Transitions are possibly one of the hardest things life throws at us. 

Whether I'm looking at my 10-year old son who is getting ready to go to middle school this year or talking to someone who is working their way through the initial stages of the Macros, the transition time is tough.

Why is it that we can't just understand that we will settle in and therefore just accept our current state? But the reality is that we need to go through that process to 'earn' the right to stabilize. We are humans, and we don't have the ability to simply flip a switch and move on.

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone ever gets 'good' or becomes a 'pro' at transitions...each state is unique due to it's circumstances. Our family is embarking on the biggest transition I've experienced to date - Bill coming home for good. But it's a process and simply having a date on the calendar for his return or establishing all of the knowns, that won't make it easier. The transition time will still need to run its' course.

So, is food and nutrition really something that bears that same weight? Possibly. For many food has been controlling their lives, for good or for worse. To transition into something like the Macros or any new relationship with how you eat, it's huge. You need time. 

The challenge is that we are impatient. We want to be perfect, like yesterday. We don't want to allow ourselves any leeway or cushion. We want to go from black to white. Immediately. However, the problem is when we force that and go struggle against a process that has to happen, it makes it more challenging for us. Surrender to the transition. Give it time. Acclimate. 

This is a good awareness to have on a constant basis in life - on a weekly basis we can all stand to ask ourselves if there is a transition we are undergoing at that time. It might not be the biggest factor in our lives, but it can still cause enough of a ripple that it is unsettling. So identify it, surrender a little to that fight, and let it run it's course. Then move on. 

Here's to change and to being more gentle with the transition to get there.